Ties that Bind

Have you ever wondered to yourself "what if?”? We all have wondered what our lives would be like if we had done 1 thing instead of another. And as much fun as it is to reflect on the things in life that we would have changed if we had known the outcome of our decisions, have you ever considered the paths that lead you to the good things in your life? Most of us just float on through life with those good things never really considering the fact that all of the mistakes we feel like we made in our lives could very well have lead us to a best friend, a boyfriend,  a job, or anything else!

So this is my personal example. I grew up in the same small town all my life. I made everlasting friendships, grew almost into a woman, and learned all my life lessons in that 1sq mile town. Something else I learn was that I was never going to have a name. If you have older sibling, especially ones who like to make impressions the way that mine do, you know that you are always _____’s sister. Even after growing up with all of these people high school starts and every one finds their crowd and the illusion of safety I had from knowing these people since diapers was shattered. Most of my teachers had had one or both of my brothers and they had made impressions, ones I could not escape. I floated through that year until I found a light at the end of the tunnel. There standing before me in gym class was someone I knew. I walked up and started talking to him and found a group that at least for a little while I was able to get along with. I found Cobb and Papa (little recap for you, Cobb was my oldest brothers best friend till a twist of fate separated them). To this little group of people I suddenly had a name. I was actually Erika. But all good things must come to an end I realized when I came out of my haze and remembered my new found comfort was going to end when they all graduated at the end of that year. I had to get out, I had to get away and find somewhere else I could still have a name. I couldn’t go back to being a no one!!

So I did what any crazy 14 year old would do. I found another school. I found Camden County Tech School, and they just happened to have a culinary arts program. With very little kicking and screaming and a lot of convincing my parents, I started school the next September at Vokey. I met a few good people there. I personally was the sh^t so I had tons of friends. But the story takes a few more turns. I met Dave. A senior and the boyfriend of a girl who had all the same friends I did. All three of us were in culinary. He became a confidant. Someone I could always tell things to without feeling like I was being judged, but I had comfort in the fact that he had a girlfriend. Not until 2 years later when I invited him to a party to make my boyfriend at the time jealous, and we hung out for over a month, did I see that very thing I went through in life was to lead me to that moment. And the rest for this part is history.

So the second part of this involves the year I did at high school number one and the 3yrs I did at high school 2. So I told you earlier that I re-met Cobb (sch 1) and I met Erica sophomore year (sch2). Well the minute these two met by, of course a chance of fate, I knew they were perfect of one another. Told them both for almost 5 years (or 6) that they were perfect for each other, but even though I’m always right no one ever seems to listen to me. Well I finally took a subtle approach and basically planted thoughts into both their minds all while agreeing with them both that it just would never work, and no it’s not worth risking the friendship, but you know it wouldn’t really be all the strange. (hehehehahahaha)^me^. Those are horn by the way ß. Well after about a week and a cheap bottle of wine and my “oh so subtle” suggestions, the spark was started it was up to them to keep it going.

So you have probably figured out what the moral of the story is and its one that has great meaning to me. If I had not made the choices I had not just my life but their lives would have been much different. And of course I can go into chaos theory about how the changing of one past, even the smallest thing, could change the course of the world (no one has time for THAT headache). But let’s just stick to this:  Fate or god or whatever has a plan for all our lives, and many times we must walk the longest roads to happiness to learn the lessons life has to offer to become the best versions of ourselves to truly appreciate what we've been given.

Yea I know, I’m just that wise…took the pause to wipe that single tear from my eye. So look at the events in your life that have lead you to the greatest joys, if your anything like me it will make the bad choice nonexistent. Let the wind take you today to whatever fate has in store. You may just find yourself happy.